He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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