I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
