"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
