If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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