how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
