I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
