let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
