you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
