Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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