you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
