NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
