as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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