so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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