Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
