the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
