take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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