I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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