no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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