so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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