i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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