508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
