your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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