I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
