The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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