Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
