From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
