i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
