East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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