I'm jealous of your bromance
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize