new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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