I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just had sex on a roof
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
