i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
