I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
