Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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