I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
