I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
