I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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