I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize