This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Randomize
