A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
