he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
