He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
