did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
