Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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