If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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