bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
