Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
