look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
