Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
