Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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