Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hell yes lets make some ravioli
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize