well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
