i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
