WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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