Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
