New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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