you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
