I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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