we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
