I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
