Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
