The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize