He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
