i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
