one two three fourrrrnication!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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